Vignettes of an Eating Disorder, Part 2

My alarm went off at 9:00 pm. I was downstairs with my laptop and my psychology notebook, making stacks upon stacks of flashcards.

Hunger gnawed slowly and steadily on the lining of my stomach, and dizziness struck me like a mallet as I stood to climb the stairs. For a moment I was simultaneously filled with unbearable misery and unfathomable elation as my body’s recognition of its emptiness grew stronger. An untouchable high.

One small mug of sugar-free hot chocolate. My reward for keeping the day’s intake significantly below my caloric limit.

The furious activity of the boiling water reminded me of the energy I no longer had.

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2 comments

  1. Wow, that describes me exactly. I’ll be studying while I’m ignoring hunger. Sometimes I feel like passing out when I stand up and have almost walked into things because my vision was clouded in darkness.

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