I didn’t mean to fall, you know. I think I could have been happy just standing on my own two feet for a while. After all, I haven’t exactly been very steady lately. I’m still trying to regain my center of gravity, to figure out how to stay upright without some crutch to grab onto during the terrifying few seconds when I can no longer feel the ground below me. I want more than anything to prove to myself that I can.
But I fell. Before I even had the chance to reach out and find something to hold. Before I even realized the floor had dropped out from underneath my feet and I was stuck to the wall of a spinning castle like an amusement park ride. I fell faster than I thought it was humanly possible to fall. From vertical to horizontal in .6 seconds. A sports car of destruction.
I fell into something that scraped my knees and bruised my elbows. I fell into something that broke my fall with the comfort of an overfilled raincloud. I fell into a darkness that drew me in and slowly led me toward the light.
I fell out of me, all of a sudden; tumbled from the inside of a barrel into the sunlight that was warm and glowing and lovely.
I didn’t mean to fall. But I’m glad I did.