It’s finals and I’m having trouble thinking up a post that doesn’t involve combinatorial analysis of a tic-tac-toe board. So I’m sorry, but this is not going to be intellectually stimulating at all.
Instead, I’m going to ruin the ending of as many books/movies as I can think of, because it’ll make me feel better.
- She dies in the fight.
- He dies of cancer.
- She dies in a car crash.
- He’s been dead the whole time.
- She dies of AIDS.
- He kills her little sister.
- She was sleeping with her boyfriend’s dad.
- He gets abducted by aliens as he’s dying of cancer.
- The devil ascends in human form.
- It was all a dream.
- He gets hit by a meteor.
- She jumps in front of a train.
- He euthanizes her.
- Only the virgin lives until the end.
- She turns out to be a psychopath.
- He goes insane.
- It wasn’t a training session.
- He was depressed because he was repressing sexual abuse.
- The butler did it.
- The ex-boyfriend did it.
- The not-really-dead twin sister did it.
Don’t you just love happy endings?
And now, back to combinatorics. Peace out, y’all.